By Ultimate Spark! Junior Coach Shreya Shreemani Kumar
One of my friends was head over heels in love with her boyfriend. All of us warned her about him, as he was really toxic to her. Despite our efforts she didn't listen to us. At last it turned out, we were right about him and they broke up.
She questioned us why she couldn't see what we could. I read on the internet somewhere, when we wear rose tinted glasses, we can't see red flags, as they are just flags then.
That's why I want you to not make the same mistakes as my friend made. After all, we should learn from everyone's mistakes.
“Uhh, what’s that?”
If you are in a relationship, where other people's failures and misfortunes gives you pleasure, or vice versa, MOVE BACK IMMEDIATELY. Relationships are meant for providing support and care during the harsh times. Schadenfreude is an idea, we don’t even expect a stranger to hold, much less your loved one!
2) Wearing Masks
As much as I love hydraulic masks and appreciate sick people wearing those medical masks, I hate when people wear character, or personality masks to give you a false sense.
If you think your partner is not exactly what she/he shows then, it’s time to confront them about the relationship, and question them about what they are up to! If you’re the one wearing the mask, then question yourself, what’s the need for this?
Relationships should be as natural as breathing. If any plot planning is happening behind the scenes, then sorry to break the news to you, but you are in a daily soap not a relationship.
3) Between the lines bad jokes
If your partner is hurting your insecurities, in disguise of jokes, then put a FULL STOP to it.
Let them know you are not comfortable with such jokes, and if they continue, you need to have a real talk. See, constantly making jokes about something is like normalizing them.
Do not be okay with someone not treating you right. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Please love and put yourself first. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is hurting you constantly, in spite of your warnings, then dump that dumbass.
4)You are their arm candy
If they can’t place you at a better place, replace them. If they treat you like a trophy because of your looks, qualities or intelligence, and you’re only a source of bragging in their life, then that is a red flag.
If you aren’t already exhausted, you will be eventually. At the end of the day, we all look for love and affection, right?
If your relationship is everything except what it is supposed to be, then either change the name of your relationship or you need to change this person under this specific label.
5) Better Half or Inferior Half?
This is almost same as #3, but instead of coming in forms of jokes they do it directly towards YOU.
A person can be better from another in one aspect or another, but overall comparison? It’s next to impossible. If you feel or are made to feel that you’re the inferior half instead of the better half, then maybe you should quit.
You deserve someone who is in constant awe of you, who encourages you, supports you, makes you feel good not someone who is trying to tell you the flaws that you didn’t even know/notice in yourself before.
6) Lack of peace
Strategies in love stories are common, and aren’t they the ones that make them interesting? ;)
Conflicts and fights happening outside is still fine to some extent, unless they become violent. The trouble is when conflicts start to happen inside of you.
Is there chaos and disturbance inside your mind even when you’re in a lonely room? Is the source of this chaos your relationship? Then let it go. True love brings peace, it doesn’t take it away.
I know the exact feeling you have, that maybe they can improve, and change for the better.
I knew bad guys in school, some of them were really good at their hearts but their behavior wasn't in the good favors of others. And, they don't change.
You can note this, you can't change a person. The other feeling you get is what if you couldn't find someone better?
Well, good things come when you just let go....